- Julie and Julia
- Monsters vs Aliens
- Obsessed (How could I almost forget this?)
- Kimmy Dora
- Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
- Ice Age 3: The Meltdown
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Monday, September 14, 2009
Monday, June 08, 2009
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Monday, May 18, 2009
It was that rainy, fateful Wednesday when my mom and my sis went to my grandma's house to stay the afternoon there with my aunt, uncle, and cousins. My mom called me and she told me to take out the spaghetti she cooked from our ref and wait for my uncle downstairs. She said that my uncle is already on the motorcycle on the way here to pick that up, which means that I have to hurry. The time it takes from there to here on a motorcycle is less than a minute. Yet I waited for more than 10 minutes. I hate the fact that she instructed me to hurry and wait for a slowpoke for eternity.
At last I heard the blessed motorcycle. I came down with feelings of annoyance. I passed the spaghetti to him, still angry. What happened next is way off and unpredictable.
I was to go up again. I am about to make my first step on the stairs when I suddenly slipped, butt first. What's unfortunate is that my left rib hit the edge of the step of the stairs. I was wailing in pain, all wet due to the terrace's wet floor. I limply went up and called my brother while he think that everything happened to me was a big joke. I tried to gasp for air for no avail. I soundlessly asked water from my brother. As he gave it to me, he's asking me if I was okay while he was laughing.
Yes I know it was stupid of me to let such stupidity to happen. When my mother learned about it she insisted that I was in a hurry to go back upstairs so the accident happened, to which I objected. I told her that I was blinded by fury that time so that I slipped on the wet, algae-grown floor. To add salt to the wounds, she's asking the obvious by blatantly telling me if it was my uncle or I who was injured by the incident.
Until now, it still hurts but not really that much. I just cringe in pain every time I change positions while I lay down. The pain reminded me not just to be careful every time I walk, but to at least temper that flaming fury every time I'm angry.
Friday, May 08, 2009
Every now and then, I'm trying to escape reality by thinking a lot of things. Usually, I'm thinking that I'm my own self-made character: Aerol Celeste. I'm always fabricating this things on my mind that I'm an aerokinetic and with a bunch of my friends, usually the pyrokinetic, cryokinetic, and electrokinetic, I always think that I'm saving the people very distant to me and hoping that they would recognize me.
That's the center of it: attention. It's something I always demand before. Maybe until today, but I don't really have that violent surges lately. It's not the attention that you think o that I wanted to be on top, or popular, or something but somehow I want those who touched my lives (crushes included) that I exist.
I've done very harsh things lately (but not violent) I just don't know why I'm doing those things. Probably I have an alternate personality, but no. It's all me. I've deleted those people from my contacts: those people whom I've felt the pain. I don't even know what the pain is. But the solution that I've always been thinking is to avoid, avoid, avoid.
I think I'm suffering from a very severe mental disease. Maybe insanity. Because what I always do is to act something without even thinking then lately, after realizing, I'll go apologize. Yes, I'm doing it again. That's what's hard with me: I can't even speak to myself and to those people.
I remember my dream this past few days. I have two dreams, both of my first love. The "stories" were different but the theme's the same: that person's avoiding me. Although I remember calling out to my first love, I'm still ignored. It's like this all the time: I don't want to feel embarrassed or rejected but it's always happening. The worse part is: I've generalized it to all people.
Now my insanity's striking me again, I'll be talking perhaps to a few people. Again. I don't know. Yeah, maybe I'm insane since they're the same set of people I've talk to last time I had this drama.
Tuesday, May 05, 2009
Well, this is the first summer in my college life that I did not enroll in any summer class. My mom finds it sort of a waste of money. I grabbed that chance to hopefully do something fruitful academically but I'm failing big time.
Now I'm entering the Fourth Year of my college life, but not my last. No, I haven't failed any of my subjects. It's that... I still have plans. Yes, taking up a Master's degree. Somehow I had a mixture of anxiety and excitement because graduation time is coming near. But it's next year anyway but being on the last year of my undergraduate life.... it's just giving me the jitters. :)
Sunday, April 19, 2009
I submitted the requirements for dorm application this Friday. It's also the day that I'll get my ATM card and the check amounting the reinbursement for this school year's tuition fee, stipends, and book allowance from Bicutan. The latter sentece is about my scholarship from DOST.
I woke up by about 6 and left the house by past 7. I usually leave the house at most one hour after I woke up but since my face had grown forest, I had to shave my facial hair (I don't shave if I don't have outside appointments, pardon me). I went first to the Office of the University Registrar, hoping that I can pay my True Copy of Grades (TCG) there so I can go to the College of Science (CS) next. But the line by the cashier was too long so I decided to go out not before I discovered someone was paying for the subjects that person got via teacher's prerogative (prerog): it's my crush. I would normally be happy or my inner self would normally be jumping for joy, but neither happened. I really wonder why. After all this time, I dream about my crush involuntarily but today the "feeling" was lost. I'm still wondering why.
I proceeded to Philippine National Bank (PNB), far away from my previous destination. Thankfully, there's no line yet so I paid what I have to pay. After I left, a line suddenly appeared. Lucky me.
I went straight to the Shopping Center (SC) which is just nearby. I went to a studio to get me some ID pictures and went to a computer shop to have my printables... printed. The only requirement I was still lacking was the TCG and the photocopy of my Form 5, which I decided to do at CS.
When I reached CS, I immediately requested for the TCG but they said that they will release it by 1. I was worried because I will be late for an appointment... with Kat and Jel, my theater classmates. They planned on going to a mall and I came along. I todl them that I might be the cause of delay but they said they'll either wait for me or we'll meet up at the mall.
So I headed to Bicutan. I thought I'll be stuck at the MRT. Luckily from where I'm standing the door to the train was just straight in my face so despite the large density inside and outside the train, I barged in, hoping I'll be on time on my afternoon "appointment". I went first to Landbank to get my ATM card, went to DOST to getthe check and went back to Landbank to deposit the check to my ATM savings account.
As I return to UP, traffic became heavy on SLEX which is a first time for me. I sent Kat an SMS telling what's happening. She told me that the heavy traffic is just normal. I just blinked my eyes and stared blankly into space.
To compress the story, I got to UP by almost 2, got my TCG and photocopied my Form 5, met with Kat and Jel at a canteen, went to Office of Student Housing (OSH), just to find out that they will return the requirements to me. It's because of my father's annual income. Since he's a seaman, his income is not in pesos so I had to convert it at the ceiling rate of 50 pesos per dollar. They just won't accept my computation. Yet I did that to other forms such as when I took UPCAT and the scholarship.
So the three of us reached Trinoma by 3. I was trying to dispel my negative thoughts and instead I tried to enjoy the rest of the day. We ate at the Foodcourt of Landmark and bought myself lunch at Karate Kid. I tried to eat my luch with chopsticks and took it as my next lesson. So you know, I only used chopsticks on the following: okonomiyaki, california maki, ramen, gyoza. So this was the first time to use it on rice, which I successfully did. I was so happy! So from now on when I eat on an East Asian restaurant, I'll use chopsticks on my food. On non-soups, of course.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
As they left, I opened immediately Tracy (since I missed her so much) but before doing anything, as a responsible son, I did the household chores of the morning. After taking my bath with the bathroom door open (I felt slutty by that time) I continued my business with Tracy. I cooked skinless longganisa for lunch.
By afternoon, why I was doing my routinized check, I noticed ants on our stove outside (where I cook my dishes). I panicked at first, grabbed a wet rag, and wiped the stove. I spayed everything outside with our insect killer, I never knew what caused the chaos but then, I realized that I was checking it every
By Friday I noticed that Robi (my black puppy) wouldn't wat his meal while Mikee (my brown puppy) and Crystal (our Labrador) ate theirs hungrily. I was worried about Robi at that time and he was as thin as Robi [Domingo] by then. After I watered the plants I checked Robi again just to find out he hasn't ate even a nibble.
The day went as it should normally be (there were no more ants!). Nighttime came and it's time to feed the dogs once again. Robi didn't touch his previous food and it was thoroughly infested by ants. I cleaned his place first before giving them dog food. Mikee's serving vanished into thin air and so is Crystal's. I tried feeding Robi using my hands (I wish I could do that to Robi D!) but to no avail. He still wouldn't eat. So I just petted him and went to my dinner.
After my dinner when it just hit me to watch Gokusen 3 online so I watched the whole of it, from 11PM to 10AM (since I did my morning chores from 6AM-8AM). My eyes were very tired so I slept for a bit. I woke up by 1PM after receiving an SMS. So from there I ate my breakfast/lunch/afternoon snack. Except for that and Robi still not eating, everything's normal.
By Saturday my mom told me via SMS that they will go home by evening. I was about to say good-bye to my remaining hours of freedom when my mom told me again that they will go to Dingalan, Aurora to go to the beaches and hit back to NE to rest until Sunday. Yatta!
Everything was normal except that it was the spatula this time that was infested by ants (solved) and Robi's problem (unsolved). I slept early that day due to lack of sleep.
By Sunday, I woke up by 9 when my mom told me they will arrive by 10. So before everything else I cooked rice and corned beef. Just exactly after I'm done, they arrived home and they ate lunch as I finished the rest of the morning chores. Sadly Robi still won't eat. My mom was actually surprised upon learning that I was watering the plants even though she did not told me so.
I learned some important lessons while I was home alone. First, it's hard to live alone. It's not because there's no one to help me bur because having no one to talk to made me crazy. Second, household chores were harder that I imagined them. So I really understood why my mom's always annoyed. I will not resolve to carpentry, though. Last, be prepared for anything. After a few encounter with those ants, I realized that when faced with those problems I should not immediately call my mom because (1) she might be busy or not around, and (2) I can easily solve it on my own: I just have to think.
There was this "joke" that my mom told me. On their way to NE, my cousin (from previous entry) told my grandmother that he will first eat the dishes served by the mistress so in case it was poisoned, she will be saved. My uncle's (from previous entry) wife added that by chance, they will all be poisoned and killed. My mom apparently told them that it will not happen since the heir was left alone at home (she's actually referring to me). Actually I wasn't really the successor but let me explain why they said so.
My grandfather has 4 children with my grandmother: 3 girls (my mom is second) followed by my uncle. My older aunt has 5 children: 2 girls (one's older than me: she's the eldest of the grandchildren) followed by my cousin, another girl, and the adorable Prince: the youngest. My mom, as you know, has 3 children with I as the eldest. My younger aunt has 2 children has two children both younger than Prince. My uncle is not (yet) gifted with any. The old tradition dictates that the eldest son will be the successor. In that case that's my uncle. However another tradition follows that if the named successor has no male child then the new heir will be the eldest grandson which happened to be me (the tradition's sexist and I'm somehow off with that). Of course I really don't believe that set of traditions because it's old for the new age. Besides, what matters is what my parents will give me. 8P
End of "joke".
(1) What I want is someone who loves me and who I will love back. Lately I have dreams about my crush and I are a couple. I never dreamed about that with my previous crushes before. And my crush does not even know me and if it's not the case, it'll be very unlikely for us to be a couple according to my "research".
(2) My puppy, Robi, just died this afternoon. I was so sad that my mom said I was maarte.
Tuesday, April 07, 2009
Monday. I'll be taking my Math 123.2 Final Exam. I was exempted on taking the exam but I wasn't satisfied with my grade so I planned on taking it. Once again, with the help of my Project Paper, I did well in the exam to the point that I think I aced it. I think I just improved my grade! I just had to visit his blog at some day to see our final grades.
After that, I finished our Math 162 worksheet. Finally! I don't want to tell you the problems I've undergone to finish that. What matters is that it's finished and I can submit it on time.
Yes, I thought the Math 162 Final Exam is too easy, since I once again, employed the powers of my now beloved Project Paper. But no, the grade that I want will simply disappear into thin air. I hope that the worksheet will do me favors.
This week is a very fast week. I spent my Wednesday and Thursday doing nothing. Yes, what remains is my problem set but I still did nothing. I was hopeless, I will be depending on our discussion group with my classmates to get this done.
I saw Sir Lope's (my Math 123.2 professor) blog where he posted our grades. To my surprise, I got a high grade. I did not expect that grade since even I got a 100% in our Final Exam. So I placed a comment on that entry. But I'll talk to him this coming Friday, either way. Also, I saw my grades on my Math 162 via CRS. Sadly, I got a low grade.
By Friday, I went first to Ma'am Vallejos. I asked for my standing. To my surprise, I got a very high grade. I knew taking that long Final Exam will be worth taking. We talked about my thesis topic. We even went to the Administration Office to look at some papers I think we need. On that day, my topic is now nailed and she even gave me some readings! I was so happy that I finally decided on what I wanted to do! We went back to her room, and saw Olga and Kai waiting outside. Kai almost cried when she saw her passing grade and I thought Olga was, too.
After I went out, I saw Olga, apparently waiting for her adviser. I told her that we go to Department of Linguistics at the College of Arts and Letters (CAL) to see if our Korean professor has submitted our grades in our Korean class. Indeed, he passed the grades and we were not satisfied (well, at least I was). But at least we passed. I thought there was a setback, that for every high grade I got, there corresponds a low one.
By noon, I went to Regina and Jan by the Statistics Library to study and have our discussion groups. But Regina still has an exam that afternoon so Jan and I decided to continue it while she is taking her exam. It turns out, I can easily answer everything! Well, except for that number 6. Regina and I even stayed at the Math Building to continue it but we apparently can't make it. So I decided to pass it on Saturday. Yes, Saturday, since I finished it on Saturday morning after a long, dry spell. I knew how to solve it, and I gave her some hints how to solve it (6 was one of our common answers to solve). She solved it as well so I decided to pick her answers up and pass our answers.
I forgot that Saturday is also our overnight stay at BJ's house for the "sem-planning" of Sanlakas Youth. Sadly, there were only 5 of us. So what happened is a re-orientation (actually, a more intensive orientation), some more talks on certain issues affecting the country and UP, and food fest. At least after that I felt that I am really part of the organization and I know now what to do.
Starting this week, I stopped my usual Internet/social sites visit so that I can fully concentrate on my studies. Somehow, Facebook was an exemption since, I think, that's the only way that some people can connect to me.
I fully-employed the utility of my Project Paper. It has served me as my reviewer. This time, I wrote in there some formulas for my Math 162 exam. Guess what, I did that immediately after my Math 171 class which is just right before my exam! Yes, I obviously "failed" answering the exam. On the light side, I felt that I did here better that the previous exams. But I'm still afraid of my standing. I think I was turning into a grade-conscious freak, ain't I?
I told Ma'am Vallejos that I'll be taking the long Final Exam in Math 171. It's long since if we take that, our Midterm Exam will be disregarded and our grade in the Final Exam will serve as our grade in our Midterm Exam as well. I asked for my standing, and I wanted to take the risk. Yes, I passed the Midterm Exam but somehow I wasn't satisfied. Also, we're (or, I think, I'm) still struggling with my thesis topic.
By the way, this Tuesday was the end of the class for the semester, so I spent my Wednesday and Thursday doing my Math 162 and Math 171. I also used my notebook to rewrite my Math 171 notes. Up to this point, I'm still struggling with my Math 162 worksheet. So once again, I set that aside to pave way for my Math 171 review that I hope to ace. Friday is the start of the Exam Week, by the way.
So the day of reckoning came. I was sitting in the cold examination room, hoping that the Math 171 exam will be easy. Yes, I had struggles with computations but everything was answerable in my level. I was so happy I thought I can ace this. I think it's all worth it! Yosh!
I received a message that night, saying that there were some changes to our exam in Math 150.2 the following day. Gasp, I haven't reviewed that yet! I had absolutely no idea to answer the upcoming exams! But before I negatively react further, the message says that instead of an exam, we're going to solve problem sets instead due Tuesday and we will either have a lighter oral or seat-in exam depending on what we agree on that Saturday.
So another surprise came that Saturday. The oral/seat-in exam was scrapped! Yes! But the thing is, we're going to solve 4 out of 6 items in the problem set. The catch is? Six taken four is fifteen (if you don't understand this, this is just combinatorics) and we were 15 in class, I think, so we had to draw lots on what items to solve. Each paper has four items, and what I got contains the hardest item: number 6! But the good thing is that we can submit this by April 7 (at least for the undergraduates). But I said to myself that I want to pass this on the 3rd (the deadline for the graduates).
Taking out a piece of yellow paper inserted in one of my notebooks, I wrote down my schedule for the coming three weeks, including this week. I have no issues with my schedule, except for my Math 150.2 Final Exam. It's because the date for the exam is still uncertain. It's either next Tuesday, with Math 162, or next Saturday. As you see, I'm haven't really studied on this subject and I don't really know anything. As I write my schedule it turns out that I had time for everything, from reviewing to doing some computer projects.
I should be answering the Math 162 exercises by Tuesday and do the worksheet by Wednesday but, you know me, I didn't follow my schedule. Instead, I devoted those days to answer the exercises. My goal is to answer 33 because these exercises also serve as blackboard recitations. But because I am great, I only managed to answer 12. But it's an improvement from 2 items during the first third of the semester and 11 during the second.
I brought Tracy by Thursday because I don't have majority of classes by that day, so I grabbed the opportunity to start the worksheet that had been stagnant in my laptop for
So came Friday. Yes, the presentation was easy... so easy that it was lame. The good thing is, Korean classes are now done! The bad thing is our grades were still unpredictable. After the presentation there was food fest. I found out that pichi-pichi is well-paired with spiced dilis! Our professor also gave us some Choco Pie and a Nagaraya-ish snack direct from Korea! Yay, so I ate a lot. And later that night, I used my Project Paper (a vertical Steno-ish notebook) to rewrite my notes on Math 123.2 to serve as my reviewer as well.
Immediately the day after, Saturday, was our third exam in Math 123.2. I was happy I did well in the 3rd exam. But something's telling me it isn't right. I spent the rest of the weekend doing my exercises and programming projects on Math 171.
Friday, March 13, 2009
By Tuesday I got Ma'am Vallejos to sign the "agreement" form, stating that she is my thesis adviser and I should have it done by 1st semester next year. I am normally uncomfortable to do tasks that involves "requirements" (in this case, getting an adviser and have him/her sign the said form) and I usually have a companion with me. It's those times that I can't do things alone. But I think this week is the start of my independence in the sense that I manage to do things alone with just a little help from others. Anyway, I told her the topics that I want to tackle and I said that it's up to her what should I do. I told her I wanted to either solve the Heat equation, solve Einstein's field equation, or compare and optimize methods for solving ordinary differential equations (ODE). The first one was her suggested topic to me while the rest were my researched topics, which she liked. She said that she's going to tell me my topic by next week.
By Thursday we saw students who were applying to be Sir Escaner's advisees (he is an analogy to box-office hit movies), and since it appeared that we were waiting with them. While waiting for our last class, Regina and I were talking about a transcendental professor and his/her minions (the gender of the professor will never be disclosed) and about how should we perform on our colloquium. And while we were talking, we saw Sir Basilla walking around the Math Building.
By Friday, I attended Sanlakas Youth's last General Assembly. Regina can't come since she has to come home, so here is another first for me (the GA). It's a good thing BJ and Primo were very accommodating. We listened first to the Educational Discussion and we talked among themselves about it afterward. Surprisingly, each of us has to talk about the thoughts on the issues, and I tackled it mathematically. I just don't know why I did that but I know that my thoughts were of little value to them. Surprisingly, Primo interpreted my thoughts right (it's about extrapolation). As we were going home, BJ told me that up to this point, this was the ED that he appreciated much because we all got to say our thoughts unlike before that, according to him, everything's just absorption. He's still even joking about the recruitment (he started it during the victory party).
Finals week is now fast approaching. And I'm getting even more busy.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Supposedly, on Monday, I should be attending the recognition of CS at CS (Catch my drift? They're College Scholars and College of Science, respectively.) by early morning. But I purposely woke up at 9AM, the usual time I wake up on Monday mornings. I packed a few shirts and towelettes and bagged in a few extra stash of cash. I told my mom that just in case I found a place to stay overnight, I will do so. Surprisingly, she agreed. And I knew that for a few days, I will miss my authoritarian mom.
So there, I went to the mall first to buy some stuff before proceeding to my class. After it, since it's too early to come to the party, I first asked Sir Basilla about a few tweaking details. Disappointingly, I failed to find the answers that I need. So what does that mean? Prior to everything, I "enlisted" myself to be an 'advisee' of Sir Basilla. But since I found myself "incompatible" to the Great Lord of IM (Institute of Math), I told myself to go to either Sir Takenouchi or Ma'am Vallejos (when I speak of the latter as my thesis adviser to my friends, they will be shocked and they are telling me if I am serious of the matter, on which I'm positive).
So Regina and I talked while waiting for the time to come. After some time, she received a call while she was taking a nap. From her responses, it seemed to be a member of the org trying to tell her about the party. Talk about official invitation!
So we went to KFC Katipunan Ave, the supposed meeting place 5 steps away from the venue. From there we met Sir BJ, the VC of Sanlakas Youth. Well, that's just the start of me meeting new people. To exaggerate, I already met hundreds of KAISA members just at KFC! And after I queried about my dilemma, they said that I can stay together with a few people at the headquarters of KAISA! Problem solved!
At the venue (it was, if I remember correctly, at Xanland), I met more people and got to know some of them. And there was a problem regarding the number of people in the venue. The place can only hold 50 people but 150 people are expected. I was surprised when they were packing and headed for their Plan B!
The venue was actually moved to Ma'am Steph's house. Since there were a lot of people, the place somehow became small. After the general "program", there were games, food fest, people being thrown to the pool and lots of [wild] dancing. They started by 8 and packed up by 1. What a long night!
So we now headed to the HQ where I stayed. The "living room" was a bit messy due to election paraphernalia lying everywhere, but I managed to get a spot and eat a little before I go to sleep. At a corner of a room, I snugged myself and slept. Everything went normal, and Tuesday came. I woke up early and took a bath. I left to school with a few people, including Sir Jose (or should I put it Councilor Jose, whichever you prefer) and we walked together to Math Building once we're at UP.
I don't know, but it's like a social aspect level-up for me. Within a night, I got to know a lot of people. They were a lot that I actually forgot some of them (sorry!). I guess that's one thing I have to improve on: name recalling.
Ma'am Vallejos dismissed us early so I grabbed that time to talk to her and tell her that I want her to be my thesis adviser (which she affirmed, and gave me a topic) and from that point on, I became happy, knowing that my thesis work will have a direction[al vector]. Why her, you asked? It's because I want to do numerical analysis and I want to employ something which has algorithms, and I found her perfect to be my adviser. So from that night on, I researched on what topics do I want to tackle.
When I went home, my mother is suddenly experiencing mood swings. She easily gets angry and gets back to being authoritative. But it's just some days before when I told myself that I miss my authoritarian mom. I should be careful what I wish for!
By Wednesday, as I am to come to my Korean class. I met Ma'am Laura and she recognized me, so we somehow greeted each other. You may say that it's a trivial thing so just pretend that I'm a child and it's my first time to interact with other people aside from my family, friends, and teachers. Seriously. My social aspect has never been like a bomb!
Thursday came. Sir Takenouchi asked our class who will be his 'advisees'. He said he can accommodate three students. Precious and Goegie claimed the two spots and left the last one hanging. Sir Takenouchi asked Kai about who's her thesis adviser, to which she replied "Sir Basilla" and Sir Takenouchi commented that he is good. He then asked me the same question, and I said, lying, that I'm still undecided. He told us that our class was his top priority and some students who are not in his class want to be enlisted as his 'advisees', so he's basically "waiting for me" and that thwarted a hole in my heart. He then asked me who I'm still considering, and I told him the one that I talked earlier.
No classes on Math 150.2 so we were dismissed early. Jan and I saw Kai and Precious so I joined with the two ride a jeepney to SM North (Jan was riding a jeepney to Pantranco). It has been an hour or so before we hailed a jeep and we keep on calling myself the jinx, the one who brings bad luck. Surprisingly, I thought someone was waving at me (or I think it was my imagination). To my surprise, I saw Sir Bong (or should I put it Councilor Bong, whichever you prefer). I waved back.
By Friday, Sir Takenouchi sent me an SMS, telling me if I have decided on who will my adviser will be. Somehow, I felt negatively different. I cringed while replying that somebody else can take that slot. He then sent a reply telling me that "It's ok. You should choose the one who gave you your favorite topic." It's kind of heartbreaking so I came to a resolve that I will do my best on this thesis. I told Regina what happened while she was teaching me some Math lessons.
It's night when we were done. While I was walking home, I saw my friends from UP Tomo-Kai. Apparently, it was Luke's birthday and she gave me some charm for studies. She also invited me with her friends for her treat at Yellow Cab, which I agreed to joined. It was at Katipunan Ave so while traversing the way, Monday's events sank in again. Well, the dinner was fun and cute. I thought we caused some chaos there since we were too noisy and we were playing a game. And note: we are on a long table!
Somehow, I've been ecstatically happy and I am busy lately. And if you've been asking if I address the people by Sir or Ma'am, it's just because I'm intimidated to write about them by first-name basis.
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
I don't know. The first time I saw you was on a picture, really. I saw everything written below that face. "Another pretty face," I said to myself. I thought everything will stop until that. I was wrong.
I was shocked when I first met you. Actually, it's when "I saw you personally". You were like a star previously placed in the heavens, and now laying right before my very eyes. Your physique isn't what I really imagined, but who cares? The notion of seeing you is enough. And I thought my admiration for your beauty will stop until that. I was wrong.
It turned out to the point that I longed for looking at you. It's the point in my life that I actually feared of being into. I don't want to be a lunatic again. I don't want to lose my sanity, "I'll try to make this right," I said to myself. I'll try to maintain my composure and not to be wild.
Yes, you are my crush, I admit that. But it's not before that I'll expect too much. I'll be contended on where I am and where you are. I'll be contended that what connects you to me is a picture that a friend gave me.
Yes, being you as my crush made me feel alive again. It's been a long time that I had a crush that's not a friend of mine. As you see, I went through this time that I had crushes on my online friends. Yes, online "friends". I care about them, but they don't care about me. I felt dark. I felt I haven't received the attention that I wanted, needed. What makes you different? You don't think I exist. We won't be friends, at least for the time being. And you won't hurt me, I know. I'm no longer in the dark. I felt I'm real. I feel that I'm back to the real world.
But destiny is such a pain in the ass. I keep seeing you and your pictures more frequently. I thought that this will become the end of me. I know I'm near obsession. Surprisingly, I didn't become what I used to be. I made glances at you, yes. I got your number by "accident", yes. But I saw one of your account on one of the social sites that I have an account as well, and I didn't add you. No, I didn't force myself to stop myself from doing that. It just came naturally. I'm proud of myself for that but not that proud.
You are an intelligent person, yes. And that fact is what motivates me for studying. You may not become my friend, but I know that by studying, you can be a part of me. I can accomplish things I never imagined I can. I'm trying to become an honor student, and you are the force that drives me for doing that.
I'll be ashamed, though, if you just read this and knew that it was you.
Oh, well. Back to studying.
Sunday, March 01, 2009
Last week, to almost all of the people I knew, I promoted the party. I encouraged them to vote. Of course, everyone has the right to choose so I really didn't force them what I want them to vote, but rather promotion all the way. And since it is the campaign season, I got the chance to meet the candidates and got to know some of them, although I already know who to vote.
The campaign period was rather short and quick. It's within that interval that all of the candidates should visit every place in UPD to campaign. I only got to know half of all the candidates, and the only thing that I can critic them was via their profiles on their posters.
I wore my only yellow shirt this Tuesday. To add to that, I wore my ninja outfit. It was Denji ready for battle. Or rather, it was Edj ready for battle. I'm too proud to say that this is "officially" the first time that I'll cut classes. Yes, I attended the Miting de Avance (MdA) at the AS Steps as a sign of support.
I met Sato on my way to the steps, and she told me that all of them are at the booth by the lobby. ALL OF THEM. Somehow, I know I have to go there but there's still a force stopping me: intimidation. How would I go to a place where only one or two persons knows me? Funny me I sat somehow near the booth, waiting for 9AM to come. I saw the KAISA slate: almost all of them were there. Then after a few minutes, someone greeted me: it was Sir Titus, one of the very few people who knew me. Of course, I returned the greeting. Then I was staring at someone.
The lobby was bombarded with primary colors. Not really all of it: replace blue by white. I can see some of the candidates murmuring something: they were tying to memorize what they have to say at the MdA. People with signs ravaged into the lobby: primary colors again. Then someone approached me. I think he was Chorva: he invited me to go to the booth and wear a sticker-pin as a sign of support. Of course I went there, knowing that the slate was gone to prepare for the MdA. I buffed myself and tried to help those in the booth with carrying the things. Some active support from me, at last! Even at that little thing that I did, I'm happy. At least, little by little, I do feel I am really helping them.
So we went to the parking lot, minutes before the MdA. I saw the whole slate there and a few more people organizing. Within those few minutes, I learned a bit more about the people who I'm going to vote. We all now gathered in a big circled and started to pray, led by Barbie. As you see, I do recall that Barbie was once my classmate, but I really can't recall the subject where we were classmates. Sorry, Barbie, I feel ashamed. :( Before the slate went to the steps, I wished Barbie good luck (I wished the whole slate good luck, but I only told her.), and she said that my outfit was cute. <3
At the MdA, you can really see the partition: people wearing red, people wearing blue/white/Super Mario shirts, and people wearing yellow (us) and green. Surprisingly, the loudest cheer came from us. Or is it because I'm in the group?
Let's skip to Wednesday: Election Day. A few people knew why I was terrified on that day. I'd like to share it to you.
From "Parangal sa Mag-aaral" held at the Bahay ng Alumni, Sami and I went straight to the Math Bldg (MB): he, to attend his class where he's always late, and I, to vote early and hang out. (It somehow pains me to write this part right here, so pardon if you sense a shaky Edj.). I sensed things around me as a discrepancy. Team Eco-Moda** and N-th Root Team** stuck posters near the precinct booth at MB. When I saw Regina strolling around, I immediately approached her and shared my thoughts about the posters, so she texted someone from our party about the legality of the incident and how will they respond. They said that it was all right but to be fair, KAISA's should be there as well. So after that, I went on and vote.
We were shocked by what we saw at the precinct table: there was this "spy" from the N-th Root just beside the officer-in-charge. We thought why that person wasn't dragged away from the table. Again, Regina texted someone for the legality of that person. They said that it was illegal and we should try to shrug her off. But Regina had a class so the whole responsibility was passed on to my shoulders.
Instead of dragging the N-the Root minion off, I just stood near and observed everything but maintaining my distance from the precinct. I stood, observed. Moments later, I got the feeling that the minion is watching me as well. I stood straighter in fright, and began to be conscious with my actions. Out of nowhere, I grabbed my camera and took a picture of the minion. To my surprise, the minion also took my picture (Note: with clicking sounds from its phone.). So basically, we got each other's pictures. I was frightened further. Luckily, I saw Sami so I dragged him to a far place, far from the neighborhood of the precinct. At there, I expressed all of my feelings to him. I told him that that minion will fabricate lies about me. I told him that I don't want to be accused of what I haven't done but because of my dumb actions, I further looked suspicious. But he slapped the reality back into me. He told me that why should I feel guilty of what I haven't done in the first place? And why would I put myself into their level (We classified them as low-levels: they play dirty for an instance, and they whine a lot and put the blame on somewhere else.)? So my fear was dispelled for a bit, thanks to him. In the middle of that I saw a person from KAISA sticking up a poster (regarding earlier). Away from the sight of the minion, I approached him and told me about that minion. He said he'll talk to that to confront. Later, he approached me and told me that they will inform me later on if that minion was illegal (I heard that by around 1PM, the minion was thrown off the window. 8D).
We met some of our friends after that. I told them of this "scary" experience. Afterwards, I stood tall and told them that everything will be alright.
After my Korean class, I met with Regina at her dorm to somehow copy her notes from the subjects I haven't attended. But instead, we just lax by the sofa, watching random videos, and waited for 4PM to come. She eventually invited me to come with them and "pollwatch", to which I obliged. It will be the first time for me. I texted my mom about it and I haven't received a reply from her: a thing I'm not used to. Normally she would somehow rant or nag me, telling me to go home early. But this is not the case today. At that moment, I missed my authoritative mom whose binds I tried to get free before. So we met some of them at College of Law. Haha, we went to various places. We went to Computer Center thinking that one of the main servers was there, but they told us that it was at College of Engineering. So we went there and saw a few more of them. Then we went to Lutong Bahay and ate there and bought some choco shakes. As we get back to Engineering, scenes went, let's say, too hilarious to tell. 8P But we went back to Law.
There, they told us to go to College of Fine Arts (CFA) to see what's happening there. As we got there, we asked for the results, but they said that we should wait for the proper time to come. Few more
So we ended up late at night but it was fun. The atmosphere was celebratory. I went home without someone nagging at me. My mom even asked me when will the party be. I just told her that I'll be waiting for announcements. 8D
*people in yellow: KAISA people. I'm too intimidated to write this one. Sorry.
** to those who know: "SSSH~!"
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Well, there's nothing new for this week... except I experienced a lot of firsts. LOL. But I will mention about it later.
Methinks Monday is the day that I don't really like. I don't know why. I think it's because it's Dr. Basilla's turn to talk, and many will rampage towards him to be his thesis advisees. Well, I really have no qualms if he will not choose me, but there is this ill-feeling churning me on inside. I don't know why.
Time-travel to Thursday. It's my Math 162 exam. That will be my last exam for the month. Or so I think. [To my contacts in Plurk, you might recall my "whinings" about my crush accidentally bumping into me and apologizing to me, but hey, the kilig moment is over. Let's get over it.] I didn't had enough time to finish the exam. It was fairly easy, but the time constraint killed me. It resulted to me not answering 2 out of 7 items. Hrngh...
Results for Math 150.2 exam was returned back. And I received a passing mark despite not answering 2 items worth larger points than most of the items. And, yes, our take-home exam was given last today. Did I mention that earlier? It was TOO hard.
Friday morning, I woke up early to submit the requirements that I lack for the scholarship. Hell. This is most of the time that I had a lot of first's. It's my first time to see a lot (and I mean A LOT) of people at the MRT. I waited for almost 1 1/2 hr. If not for Bess and my AI7 playlist, I would have been annoyed. Then after 2
I will be posting at some time (most probably later) the gifts I want to receive when I reach 21. Yay!
This week is a tough one, believe me.
Friday, February 13, 2009
By Sunday, my heart thumps louder and louder. I will be having my scholarship orientation on Wednesday morning, Korean exam on Wednesday noon, and another Math [150.2] exam on Thursday. Yes, you got me: I had almost no time to review.
So came Wednesday. My mother and I woke up and got off early to go to Bicutan, Taguig (I bet she's excited, also given that a parent or guardian is required to attend the orientation and contract signing). To our relief, we got there earlier than the call time. We asked a speaker/coordinator there at what time will it finish, who promptly told us that it will be done at most 12. Luckily, the program ended up early and we just have to fill up the forms. I had a heated argument with the person to whom I should pass the requirements. You will never imagine how it went (good thing my mom didn't saw us), battling over the sentence construction about what papers are required. In the end, I just "opened my mind" and let them "win" the idiotic debate. And either way, I have to return to Bicutan to submit other forms.
I arrived at UP at around quarter to 1, so I still had time to review (talk about being optimistic). At the exam, I was so disappointed on how easy the exam was, considering that it should cover 13 chapters from 2 books. Why disappointed? I forgot how to spell the other suffixes since the Korean language had a lot of e's and o's.
Thursday. I was frustrated, big time. By afternoon, my professor in Math 197 gave us this so-called "Pre-Second Exam". It turned out to be just a set of exercises. Two things: (1) I don't know how to answer some of them, and (2) I gave it almost all of my mental energy, considering I had a "real" exam by late afternoon. Yes, dears, I haven't reviewed for the exam, and my head is a total mess, so I used my allowance for tomorrow to eat A LOT.
I won't talk about what happened to the exam. It was fairly easy since our professor said he will give a take-home exam, which containced the harder parts. To our surprise, he forgot to give it to us. I don't even know if he did made it at some time earlier, considering that he wants to check our paper before the deadline of dropping which is fast approaching. After the exam, I breathed heavily and clearly, knowing that the next exam will be next week. But I had to review, still.
So what's the deal with my Korean class? Well, it turned out that we don't have any lessons. From Friday onwards, we will practice conversations. Finally, the thing I've been waiting! But there's still a problem: I forgot my vocabulary! T_T
Saturday, February 07, 2009
(sidenote: Ang galing. Parang totoo.)
Colorgenics Number: 13724065
You have always been on the move seeking affectionate, satisfying and harmonious relationships. Your ultimate goal has been the realisation of an intimate union in which there could be love, self-sacrifice and mutual trust. It has often been said that 'True love is just around the corner' and - if you haven't found it as yet - you possibly soon will.
You want what you want and you need all that you want and, as they say in the movies, you are the sort of individual that 'By hook or by crook' you will, by fair means or foul, endeavour to get what you are looking for.
You need a friend - a close friend - and you are willing to become emotionally involved with the right person, but you are very demanding and particular in your choice of partners. You are constantly looking for reassurance and it is perhaps because of this that you tend to be somewhat argumentative, but you try to hold back - careful to avoid open conflict - since this might reduce your prospects of realising your hopes of establishing a warm caring relationship.
For whatever the reason, you find it extremely difficult to sustain relationships - that is to sustain them in the manner that you would wish. You are a very gentle sort of person, full of feeling, sensitivity and susceptible to love and affection, looking and longing for a partner with whom you can enjoy 'All things bright and beautiful' - someone with whom you can seek out the more esoteric things of life. But up to now this person has only existed in your imagination. You are very choosy, appreciative, refined and extremely artistic in temperament and it is your hope to seek others who will allow you to form and express your own taste and judgement and who at the same time may assist you in your intellectual or artistic growth.
You are inclined to be too trusting and you feel that you need to be on your guard against the possibility that your endeavours and actions may be misunderstood. Too often you have been taken advantage of and you have been mentally abused. Now you are seeking a relationship which can provide peace of mind, where you can be yourself and not have the need to put on a false front.
Friday, February 06, 2009
A classmate of mine declared last Monday that we don't have any classes on my only subject class for that day. Scenario: NLEX, on a bus. Of course, I'm a bit frustrated. If not for Regina inviting me to review, the fare would have been a waste.
Tuesday. Both Math 162 and Math 150.2 professors announced that our exams will be moved from Feb 10 to some date after Feb 11, which I will be having my examination on Koreyano 11. Sounds like good news.
I didn't bother going to school this Wednesday since (1) I only have a afternoon class, and (2) that day is the day for ACLE. So I spent half my day asking for my father's Tax Exemption Certificate (he's a seaman). I went to the regional (or was it provincial?) BIR office in a nearby town. As I shyly get myself in there, they said to me that I can get what I want on our municipal hall. So I went back to our town and rushed to the said place.
I was annoyed by the people to whom I should ask for the thing that I want. As you see, they have a preformatted certificate which only states the exemption for someone with a low annual salary and that they only give it for "scholarship and summer job purposes". With a 50-peso bill, they gave me one WITHOUT EVEN ASKING FOR A PROOF THAT MY FATHER SHOULD REALLY BE EXEMPTED. Annoying.
Thursday is a normal, unboring day, I just got my letters from DOST (for scholarship) and College of Science (for recognition day).
Friday turned out to be a disaster. I faxed my reply slip to DOST and printed my brother's project at the Shopping Center (at UP) before going to class. I have a problem I wish to talk with my Korean teacher: that the scholarship orientation falls on Feb 11 (see above). So basically, I asked him if I could take a late exam. Annoyingly, the
Well, we have an exam this Saturday on Math 123.2. But I'll put it on next week's entry so that it can have a unifying theme. Busy, busy, busy...
Thursday, January 29, 2009
As you see, I don't generally feel good on this week. But because I want myself to be dispelled of negative energies, I'll just list some good things that happened this week:
1. Joan's birthday treat
Regina and I were reviewing last Wednesday at the Math Bldg so that the things we need to review would not accumulate. That day was Joan's birthday, and Regina asked me to buy ensaymada at Eurobake, to which I complied. So when Joan "arrived" and after giving the ensaymada, I learned that she will treat Regina at Yellow Cab. I dragged myself along (Joan agreed, anyway) un-shamefully. I was really ashamed after but because of that, I learned a lot about her. LOL.
So we went to TechnoHub and we went to National Bookstore first. To my surprise, I saw the book The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time. I skimmed through the pages and saw the tag price at the end (I have no intention of buying that, though). Regina jokingly told me that she will give me the Twilight Series books as a present for me for my birthday, to which I gladly "puked" (LOL!).
So after that, we went to Joan's "feast". Joan and I interchanged the words pizza and pasta. (ROFL) It's my first time to eat there and it was really great. The chili sauce was great, the pizza was great, the pasta was great, and the ice cream was great. That was a very filling night. Thanks, Joan! Belated Happy Birthday!
2. New "org-mate" and friend
I first heard of Sami last semester. He was so great that I was annoyed at that time (maybe I was just insecure/envious/jealous/whatever). But this semester, we are classmates at a subject. But it was just this week that I really interacted with him.
I only know one thing about him that I learned from Aki: He eats, sleeps, and breathes yaoi. Well, true enough.
He really is a fun companion, I tell you. Or maybe just because he understands my green jokes.
But of course, his mouth is not about all yaoi. In fact, his mouth is all about Math. I learned a lot from him, even though I have to get a lot of tissues and wipe my nose smothering with blood.
I think that's enough to lift up my week. *sigh*
Yeah, and at some randomness. I can only have black shirt, white shirt, red shirt, and blue shirt weeks. That's because I had a lot of them. LOL. I only wear my yellow shirt at one very special occasion, my pink shirt if I feel really happy, and my green shirt if I think I really have no idea what to wear.
Friday, January 23, 2009
After that, I realized, I hinted that she also has "problems" with me. I'm strugging with it, you all know that. Of course, I can't blurt out to her that, "Mom, I'm bisexual!" because with her conservative mind, her brain may explode first before understanding me. But I think I'm being unfair since you guys, and a few friends, know about this and, yet, my relatives don't have a single clue (except for my father, but he thinks I just need to have a sex with a girl to dispel my thoughts of me being bi).
Regina and I watched Bride Wars last Wednesday. We were interested with the movie despite it's bad reception with the critics. I do find it interesting (see my "review"). And now, we're having this, I'd like to call it, Last Quotations Syndrome. 8D
Last Friday, I finally met with Marvin. I already had an idea what he will speak about to me but I was amazed that he said things more than that. He gave me a new set of axioms/definitions of love, and with that, I was amazed by a lot of things that I realized regarding that.
Then today, I met with Christian, and we strolled around the malls. Being the unsocial being, I think I almost bore him to death. LOL.
In general, this week is a good week. Take note of the phrase "in general".
Thursday, January 15, 2009
2. My exams haven't reached 80%. The good thing is that I passed, but it's still not good enough. Hindi pwede and 'pwede na'. It's my fault that I'm not really that serious in reviewing my notes before.
3. I really can't understand Korean lessons anymore. I said to myself before that I will master Hangugeo (Korean Language) during Christmas break. But I got sick during that long period. And now, I even have shorter time to do so. To add things up: I failed my first oral quiz. Our teacher keeps dictating in Hangugeo and I really can't understand even a little. :'(
Friday, January 09, 2009
Daniel went straight to the canteen to have a helping of cup noodles. It's been a long time since he's eaten one. He is about to sit in the quiet corner when he heard buzzes and screams. From the sounds, he can tell that something romantic is going on. He looked outside and he saw a bunch of people gathering together. Then they dispersed. He looked who remained at the site. He saw Rondo and Ursula. He somehow lost his breath and felt his cheek flushing. He also saw Mileena in there. With what he'd seen, he decided to know what's going on. So holding his cup noodles, he walked outside.
As he was walking to curiosity, Barbara suddenly bumped him from his back. She apologized to him while flashing a huge smile and walked away to Rondo. As he goes near, he can hear his own heartbeat. Omega suddenly appeared from his back, telling him that Rondo and Ursula are now a couple.
Much to his surprise, Daniel dropped his cup. The contents spilled over his black rubber shoes. He can feel the scorching pain in his left foot, but he ignored it. He flashed a big, fake smile and congratulated the couple. He picked up his cup with angst and went straight to the trash bin.
His tears rolled down his cheeks, murmuring the words, "Rondo, if that what makes you happy, then so be it."
After a long time of studying and after days of not going online, Daniel turned on his laptop, Niki, and decided to surf. He went to one of his favorite sites, Plurk, and he saw a lot of unread entries. He decided to read them one by one. When he saw X and Y having a lot of entries, his face was suddenly painted blank. He reads the responses on the comments. From the looks of it, X and Y seemed happy.
"1 new plurk update".
He clicked that link, and he saw X's entry, affirming what his hunch is telling him: X and Y has good love-lives again. What shook him was the fact that X and Y are together again as a couple. Daniel was happy, of course. He shrugged himself that given the fact that he wasn't online for days, many things could have happened.
You know that I just got well from my sickness, but I still don't feel that healthy. I've been thinking all of this time, and I'm forgetting to smile again. I'm depressed. This may be the side effects of the drugs I'm taking.
Recently, I feel different about my Math subjects. It's as if I'm having inverse feeling on all Math subjects. I now like Math 171, Math 197, and Math 150.2, unlike before. And it's otherwise for the other subjects. And I still hate the fact that I can't remember my Korean lessons, starting from Lesson 1 of the previous semester.
Now that I'm having weird dreams, is it fate's way of saying that I need a partner now?