Yeah, here I am again in front of a few people. This past few weeks, even though I told myself to stop ranting on my blog, I still can't help it. I broke a lot of promises I made. I even became too emotional. Then all of a sudden, I'll be having mood swings. I guess that's a reason why my very few "viewers" even dwindled in number. Like Plurk said, "Don't plurk too much. Don't put every single detail of your life in your viewable time-line or your viewers will stop following your life." Well, not the exact sentences, though, but the essence is there. So here goes.
1. Being a member of a prominent clan doesn't equate to you being rich. It hit me VERY HARD. Of our core family, I am the spendthrift. I spend all of my allowance on high-end snacks when I can eat on the local canteen. I thought we were rich enough. My parents keep telling me to save. Well, I keep lying to them that I do save. But no. I can't resist myself when I have the money. So I can't save. But, well, I'm trying to save now. I wanted my money for the next enrollment to come "from me". My parents expect a lot from me. My parents keep telling me to work and pay for my brother's tuition. Even I agree on that, not because I am forced, but because I wanted to.
And related to that issue, I realized that I have acquaintances who are, in my opinion, way richer than me. Well, it not that I don't want to make friends with them because I think they belittle me. I just think that they really have the capability to spend because of their status, when I am just, you know, "trying hard".
2. I tried to stop this awkward feeling from developing. I never knew I'll be this successful this time. Well, maybe because I did consider many realizations in my life. This time, I just have to apply them. If you want to know who that person is, I'll not be giving clues. Although I told X that this person is cute. X, you know who you are, and I trust you that you won't be telling this (well, but if Y insisted that you tell that to him, wala akong magagawa. T.T basta i-inyo na lang iyon, please? i have no intentions of telling that person. baka mapahiya lang ako sa kanya. >o<).
3. You may have noticed that, recently, I'm writing things I'd gladly call "crap", since I do it craply. At first, I am writing because I want the gods and goddesses of literature (yes, Y, ikaw yun. ikaw rin yun, Omega/Aki, basta marami kayo.) to lambaste my "works of art" (very masochistic. >o<). But now, even though I have no "followers/viewers", I'm now writing for my own personal satisfaction. I told some of you that I keep writing and writing but I never, ever, finished a single story, except for one (I was a Highschool Freshman back then). So, again, I am now writing for my self-accompolishment. If one appreciated my works, then good, I'd like to give you my thanks.
Thanks for spending/wasting a few minutes reading this. I hope, this time, this isn't as annoying as before. I hope I gave you my two-cents well. Ü