How am I suppose to get a normal life if my whole emotional aspect is b*tching me? Or is THIS my normal life? To get hurt? But I feel pain! Am I suppose to feel pain for the rest of my life?! Am I suppose to feed on pain, to nourish me, for me to grow battered? How can I go one step further if steps one to five are already messed up?
I need a break. Seriously. I wanted to fix things. I wish they can be fixed that easily.
I WANT TO HEAL EVERYTHING!
I can't... control my life anymore. It's hard.
I wish those two persons would end my life, my suffering. Either that or I wish they could help me fix this "mess". I want a "normal" life... I wanted to have one...
"I'm not normal and I never will be. I'm a lot of things... an agent, a villain, an orphan, and I'm running out of places to go."
~Elle Bishop; Sum Quod Sum, Part 2