A/N: Pardon, this part is written in first-person point of view for maximal "efficiency" in narrating.
==========
I don't know. The first time I saw you was on a picture, really. I saw everything written below that face. "Another pretty face," I said to myself. I thought everything will stop until that. I was wrong.
I was shocked when I first met you. Actually, it's when "I saw you personally". You were like a star previously placed in the heavens, and now laying right before my very eyes. Your physique isn't what I really imagined, but who cares? The notion of seeing you is enough. And I thought my admiration for your beauty will stop until that. I was wrong.
It turned out to the point that I longed for looking at you. It's the point in my life that I actually feared of being into. I don't want to be a lunatic again. I don't want to lose my sanity, "I'll try to make this right," I said to myself. I'll try to maintain my composure and not to be wild.
Yes, you are my crush, I admit that. But it's not before that I'll expect too much. I'll be contended on where I am and where you are. I'll be contended that what connects you to me is a picture that a friend gave me.
Yes, being you as my crush made me feel alive again. It's been a long time that I had a crush that's not a friend of mine. As you see, I went through this time that I had crushes on my online friends. Yes, online "friends". I care about them, but they don't care about me. I felt dark. I felt I haven't received the attention that I wanted, needed. What makes you different? You don't think I exist. We won't be friends, at least for the time being. And you won't hurt me, I know. I'm no longer in the dark. I felt I'm real. I feel that I'm back to the real world.
But destiny is such a pain in the ass. I keep seeing you and your pictures more frequently. I thought that this will become the end of me. I know I'm near obsession. Surprisingly, I didn't become what I used to be. I made glances at you, yes. I got your number by "accident", yes. But I saw one of your account on one of the social sites that I have an account as well, and I didn't add you. No, I didn't force myself to stop myself from doing that. It just came naturally. I'm proud of myself for that but not that proud.
You are an intelligent person, yes. And that fact is what motivates me for studying. You may not become my friend, but I know that by studying, you can be a part of me. I can accomplish things I never imagined I can. I'm trying to become an honor student, and you are the force that drives me for doing that.
I'll be ashamed, though, if you just read this and knew that it was you.
Oh, well. Back to studying.
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
Sunday, March 01, 2009
8th Week (Part 1): Edj, the Political Animal
Two weeks before this, I can still remember it clearly. Sir Yoshi was the one to talk. Suddenly, Regina saw people in yellow* outside the room. My sight followed. Yes, they were outside. The yellow people. Regina and I went outside and orchestrated their campaign to be made at the room. It was like magic for me. I suddenly became enthusiastic helping them. Yes, the campaign for USC elections filled my blood and my whole week revolved on it. Even though the yellow people don't know me, I still tried to help them. I'm a Sanlakas Youth "member" to begin with.
Last week, to almost all of the people I knew, I promoted the party. I encouraged them to vote. Of course, everyone has the right to choose so I really didn't force them what I want them to vote, but rather promotion all the way. And since it is the campaign season, I got the chance to meet the candidates and got to know some of them, although I already know who to vote.
The campaign period was rather short and quick. It's within that interval that all of the candidates should visit every place in UPD to campaign. I only got to know half of all the candidates, and the only thing that I can critic them was via their profiles on their posters.
I wore my only yellow shirt this Tuesday. To add to that, I wore my ninja outfit. It was Denji ready for battle. Or rather, it was Edj ready for battle. I'm too proud to say that this is "officially" the first time that I'll cut classes. Yes, I attended the Miting de Avance (MdA) at the AS Steps as a sign of support.
I met Sato on my way to the steps, and she told me that all of them are at the booth by the lobby. ALL OF THEM. Somehow, I know I have to go there but there's still a force stopping me: intimidation. How would I go to a place where only one or two persons knows me? Funny me I sat somehow near the booth, waiting for 9AM to come. I saw the KAISA slate: almost all of them were there. Then after a few minutes, someone greeted me: it was Sir Titus, one of the very few people who knew me. Of course, I returned the greeting. Then I was staring at someone.
The lobby was bombarded with primary colors. Not really all of it: replace blue by white. I can see some of the candidates murmuring something: they were tying to memorize what they have to say at the MdA. People with signs ravaged into the lobby: primary colors again. Then someone approached me. I think he was Chorva: he invited me to go to the booth and wear a sticker-pin as a sign of support. Of course I went there, knowing that the slate was gone to prepare for the MdA. I buffed myself and tried to help those in the booth with carrying the things. Some active support from me, at last! Even at that little thing that I did, I'm happy. At least, little by little, I do feel I am really helping them.
So we went to the parking lot, minutes before the MdA. I saw the whole slate there and a few more people organizing. Within those few minutes, I learned a bit more about the people who I'm going to vote. We all now gathered in a big circled and started to pray, led by Barbie. As you see, I do recall that Barbie was once my classmate, but I really can't recall the subject where we were classmates. Sorry, Barbie, I feel ashamed. :( Before the slate went to the steps, I wished Barbie good luck (I wished the whole slate good luck, but I only told her.), and she said that my outfit was cute. <3
At the MdA, you can really see the partition: people wearing red, people wearing blue/white/Super Mario shirts, and people wearing yellow (us) and green. Surprisingly, the loudest cheer came from us. Or is it because I'm in the group?
Let's skip to Wednesday: Election Day. A few people knew why I was terrified on that day. I'd like to share it to you.
From "Parangal sa Mag-aaral" held at the Bahay ng Alumni, Sami and I went straight to the Math Bldg (MB): he, to attend his class where he's always late, and I, to vote early and hang out. (It somehow pains me to write this part right here, so pardon if you sense a shaky Edj.). I sensed things around me as a discrepancy. Team Eco-Moda** and N-th Root Team** stuck posters near the precinct booth at MB. When I saw Regina strolling around, I immediately approached her and shared my thoughts about the posters, so she texted someone from our party about the legality of the incident and how will they respond. They said that it was all right but to be fair, KAISA's should be there as well. So after that, I went on and vote.
We were shocked by what we saw at the precinct table: there was this "spy" from the N-th Root just beside the officer-in-charge. We thought why that person wasn't dragged away from the table. Again, Regina texted someone for the legality of that person. They said that it was illegal and we should try to shrug her off. But Regina had a class so the whole responsibility was passed on to my shoulders.
Instead of dragging the N-the Root minion off, I just stood near and observed everything but maintaining my distance from the precinct. I stood, observed. Moments later, I got the feeling that the minion is watching me as well. I stood straighter in fright, and began to be conscious with my actions. Out of nowhere, I grabbed my camera and took a picture of the minion. To my surprise, the minion also took my picture (Note: with clicking sounds from its phone.). So basically, we got each other's pictures. I was frightened further. Luckily, I saw Sami so I dragged him to a far place, far from the neighborhood of the precinct. At there, I expressed all of my feelings to him. I told him that that minion will fabricate lies about me. I told him that I don't want to be accused of what I haven't done but because of my dumb actions, I further looked suspicious. But he slapped the reality back into me. He told me that why should I feel guilty of what I haven't done in the first place? And why would I put myself into their level (We classified them as low-levels: they play dirty for an instance, and they whine a lot and put the blame on somewhere else.)? So my fear was dispelled for a bit, thanks to him. In the middle of that I saw a person from KAISA sticking up a poster (regarding earlier). Away from the sight of the minion, I approached him and told me about that minion. He said he'll talk to that to confront. Later, he approached me and told me that they will inform me later on if that minion was illegal (I heard that by around 1PM, the minion was thrown off the window. 8D).
We met some of our friends after that. I told them of this "scary" experience. Afterwards, I stood tall and told them that everything will be alright.
After my Korean class, I met with Regina at her dorm to somehow copy her notes from the subjects I haven't attended. But instead, we just lax by the sofa, watching random videos, and waited for 4PM to come. She eventually invited me to come with them and "pollwatch", to which I obliged. It will be the first time for me. I texted my mom about it and I haven't received a reply from her: a thing I'm not used to. Normally she would somehow rant or nag me, telling me to go home early. But this is not the case today. At that moment, I missed my authoritative mom whose binds I tried to get free before. So we met some of them at College of Law. Haha, we went to various places. We went to Computer Center thinking that one of the main servers was there, but they told us that it was at College of Engineering. So we went there and saw a few more of them. Then we went to Lutong Bahay and ate there and bought some choco shakes. As we get back to Engineering, scenes went, let's say, too hilarious to tell. 8P But we went back to Law.
There, they told us to go to College of Fine Arts (CFA) to see what's happening there. As we got there, we asked for the results, but they said that we should wait for the proper time to come. Few morehours minutes of waiting, the results are out. Regina really thought that the numbers we see on the result (printed in bond paper) stand for CFA voters only. So we went to Vinzons Hall since we saw there lots of people and some shining light. Lo and behold, the results are shown! What we had on our hands is actually the final vote! So Sir Titus actually won Chairperson. And I was right about the three persons from KAISA who will make it to the Top 12: Sir Bong, Sir Jose, and Sir Lee. Talk about predicting the future...
So we ended up late at night but it was fun. The atmosphere was celebratory. I went home without someone nagging at me. My mom even asked me when will the party be. I just told her that I'll be waiting for announcements. 8D
==========
*people in yellow: KAISA people. I'm too intimidated to write this one. Sorry.
** to those who know: "SSSH~!"
Last week, to almost all of the people I knew, I promoted the party. I encouraged them to vote. Of course, everyone has the right to choose so I really didn't force them what I want them to vote, but rather promotion all the way. And since it is the campaign season, I got the chance to meet the candidates and got to know some of them, although I already know who to vote.
The campaign period was rather short and quick. It's within that interval that all of the candidates should visit every place in UPD to campaign. I only got to know half of all the candidates, and the only thing that I can critic them was via their profiles on their posters.
I wore my only yellow shirt this Tuesday. To add to that, I wore my ninja outfit. It was Denji ready for battle. Or rather, it was Edj ready for battle. I'm too proud to say that this is "officially" the first time that I'll cut classes. Yes, I attended the Miting de Avance (MdA) at the AS Steps as a sign of support.
I met Sato on my way to the steps, and she told me that all of them are at the booth by the lobby. ALL OF THEM. Somehow, I know I have to go there but there's still a force stopping me: intimidation. How would I go to a place where only one or two persons knows me? Funny me I sat somehow near the booth, waiting for 9AM to come. I saw the KAISA slate: almost all of them were there. Then after a few minutes, someone greeted me: it was Sir Titus, one of the very few people who knew me. Of course, I returned the greeting. Then I was staring at someone.
The lobby was bombarded with primary colors. Not really all of it: replace blue by white. I can see some of the candidates murmuring something: they were tying to memorize what they have to say at the MdA. People with signs ravaged into the lobby: primary colors again. Then someone approached me. I think he was Chorva: he invited me to go to the booth and wear a sticker-pin as a sign of support. Of course I went there, knowing that the slate was gone to prepare for the MdA. I buffed myself and tried to help those in the booth with carrying the things. Some active support from me, at last! Even at that little thing that I did, I'm happy. At least, little by little, I do feel I am really helping them.
So we went to the parking lot, minutes before the MdA. I saw the whole slate there and a few more people organizing. Within those few minutes, I learned a bit more about the people who I'm going to vote. We all now gathered in a big circled and started to pray, led by Barbie. As you see, I do recall that Barbie was once my classmate, but I really can't recall the subject where we were classmates. Sorry, Barbie, I feel ashamed. :( Before the slate went to the steps, I wished Barbie good luck (I wished the whole slate good luck, but I only told her.), and she said that my outfit was cute. <3
At the MdA, you can really see the partition: people wearing red, people wearing blue/white/Super Mario shirts, and people wearing yellow (us) and green. Surprisingly, the loudest cheer came from us. Or is it because I'm in the group?
Let's skip to Wednesday: Election Day. A few people knew why I was terrified on that day. I'd like to share it to you.
From "Parangal sa Mag-aaral" held at the Bahay ng Alumni, Sami and I went straight to the Math Bldg (MB): he, to attend his class where he's always late, and I, to vote early and hang out. (It somehow pains me to write this part right here, so pardon if you sense a shaky Edj.). I sensed things around me as a discrepancy. Team Eco-Moda** and N-th Root Team** stuck posters near the precinct booth at MB. When I saw Regina strolling around, I immediately approached her and shared my thoughts about the posters, so she texted someone from our party about the legality of the incident and how will they respond. They said that it was all right but to be fair, KAISA's should be there as well. So after that, I went on and vote.
We were shocked by what we saw at the precinct table: there was this "spy" from the N-th Root just beside the officer-in-charge. We thought why that person wasn't dragged away from the table. Again, Regina texted someone for the legality of that person. They said that it was illegal and we should try to shrug her off. But Regina had a class so the whole responsibility was passed on to my shoulders.
Instead of dragging the N-the Root minion off, I just stood near and observed everything but maintaining my distance from the precinct. I stood, observed. Moments later, I got the feeling that the minion is watching me as well. I stood straighter in fright, and began to be conscious with my actions. Out of nowhere, I grabbed my camera and took a picture of the minion. To my surprise, the minion also took my picture (Note: with clicking sounds from its phone.). So basically, we got each other's pictures. I was frightened further. Luckily, I saw Sami so I dragged him to a far place, far from the neighborhood of the precinct. At there, I expressed all of my feelings to him. I told him that that minion will fabricate lies about me. I told him that I don't want to be accused of what I haven't done but because of my dumb actions, I further looked suspicious. But he slapped the reality back into me. He told me that why should I feel guilty of what I haven't done in the first place? And why would I put myself into their level (We classified them as low-levels: they play dirty for an instance, and they whine a lot and put the blame on somewhere else.)? So my fear was dispelled for a bit, thanks to him. In the middle of that I saw a person from KAISA sticking up a poster (regarding earlier). Away from the sight of the minion, I approached him and told me about that minion. He said he'll talk to that to confront. Later, he approached me and told me that they will inform me later on if that minion was illegal (I heard that by around 1PM, the minion was thrown off the window. 8D).
We met some of our friends after that. I told them of this "scary" experience. Afterwards, I stood tall and told them that everything will be alright.
After my Korean class, I met with Regina at her dorm to somehow copy her notes from the subjects I haven't attended. But instead, we just lax by the sofa, watching random videos, and waited for 4PM to come. She eventually invited me to come with them and "pollwatch", to which I obliged. It will be the first time for me. I texted my mom about it and I haven't received a reply from her: a thing I'm not used to. Normally she would somehow rant or nag me, telling me to go home early. But this is not the case today. At that moment, I missed my authoritative mom whose binds I tried to get free before. So we met some of them at College of Law. Haha, we went to various places. We went to Computer Center thinking that one of the main servers was there, but they told us that it was at College of Engineering. So we went there and saw a few more of them. Then we went to Lutong Bahay and ate there and bought some choco shakes. As we get back to Engineering, scenes went, let's say, too hilarious to tell. 8P But we went back to Law.
There, they told us to go to College of Fine Arts (CFA) to see what's happening there. As we got there, we asked for the results, but they said that we should wait for the proper time to come. Few more
So we ended up late at night but it was fun. The atmosphere was celebratory. I went home without someone nagging at me. My mom even asked me when will the party be. I just told her that I'll be waiting for announcements. 8D
==========
*people in yellow: KAISA people. I'm too intimidated to write this one. Sorry.
** to those who know: "SSSH~!"
Thursday, February 19, 2009
7th Week: It's Not About Me
First of all, I would like to thank all of those who greeted me days around my birthday. To be honest, it was the best birthday that I had, because that's the first time I received a lot of personal greetings instead of a battalion singing the Birthday Song. Teehee... You're too many to mention, though. I might get exasperated. :P
Well, there's nothing new for this week... except I experienced a lot of firsts. LOL. But I will mention about it later.
Methinks Monday is the day that I don't really like. I don't know why. I think it's because it's Dr. Basilla's turn to talk, and many will rampage towards him to be his thesis advisees. Well, I really have no qualms if he will not choose me, but there is this ill-feeling churning me on inside. I don't know why.
Time-travel to Thursday. It's my Math 162 exam. That will be my last exam for the month. Or so I think. [To my contacts in Plurk, you might recall my "whinings" about my crush accidentally bumping into me and apologizing to me, but hey, the kilig moment is over. Let's get over it.] I didn't had enough time to finish the exam. It was fairly easy, but the time constraint killed me. It resulted to me not answering 2 out of 7 items. Hrngh...
Results for Math 150.2 exam was returned back. And I received a passing mark despite not answering 2 items worth larger points than most of the items. And, yes, our take-home exam was given last today. Did I mention that earlier? It was TOO hard.Trust Believe me.
Friday morning, I woke up early to submit the requirements that I lack for the scholarship. Hell. This is most of the time that I had a lot of first's. It's my first time to see a lot (and I mean A LOT) of people at the MRT. I waited for almost 1 1/2 hr. If not for Bess and my AI7 playlist, I would have been annoyed. Then after 2decades hours, while I was getting out of Magallanes station, my ticket was rejected! Well, the reason was because I was on a MRT station for more than 75 minutes. So I, with a few others, went to the ticket office and we exited through a metal gate guarded by, well, a security guard.
I will be posting at some time (most probably later) the gifts I want to receive when I reach 21. Yay!
This week is a tough one, believe me.
Well, there's nothing new for this week... except I experienced a lot of firsts. LOL. But I will mention about it later.
Methinks Monday is the day that I don't really like. I don't know why. I think it's because it's Dr. Basilla's turn to talk, and many will rampage towards him to be his thesis advisees. Well, I really have no qualms if he will not choose me, but there is this ill-feeling churning me on inside. I don't know why.
Time-travel to Thursday. It's my Math 162 exam. That will be my last exam for the month. Or so I think. [To my contacts in Plurk, you might recall my "whinings" about my crush accidentally bumping into me and apologizing to me, but hey, the kilig moment is over. Let's get over it.] I didn't had enough time to finish the exam. It was fairly easy, but the time constraint killed me. It resulted to me not answering 2 out of 7 items. Hrngh...
Results for Math 150.2 exam was returned back. And I received a passing mark despite not answering 2 items worth larger points than most of the items. And, yes, our take-home exam was given last today. Did I mention that earlier? It was TOO hard.
Friday morning, I woke up early to submit the requirements that I lack for the scholarship. Hell. This is most of the time that I had a lot of first's. It's my first time to see a lot (and I mean A LOT) of people at the MRT. I waited for almost 1 1/2 hr. If not for Bess and my AI7 playlist, I would have been annoyed. Then after 2
I will be posting at some time (most probably later) the gifts I want to receive when I reach 21. Yay!
This week is a tough one, believe me.
Friday, February 13, 2009
6th Week: Bittersweet Chocolate
Saturday. Math 123.2 exam. Like little puppies on a stormy night, some of us (including me) were afraid of what's to appear in the exam. It's because the last time we had our exam, the time allotted to us to answer it wasn't enough and it was extremely difficult. Surprisingly, this time, the exam came out easy and I answered it with confidence (except for the question about the Cantor set). We ate at Burger King after that and a long voting process on where to eat.
By Sunday, my heart thumps louder and louder. I will be having my scholarship orientation on Wednesday morning, Korean exam on Wednesday noon, and another Math [150.2] exam on Thursday. Yes, you got me: I had almost no time to review.
So came Wednesday. My mother and I woke up and got off early to go to Bicutan, Taguig (I bet she's excited, also given that a parent or guardian is required to attend the orientation and contract signing). To our relief, we got there earlier than the call time. We asked a speaker/coordinator there at what time will it finish, who promptly told us that it will be done at most 12. Luckily, the program ended up early and we just have to fill up the forms. I had a heated argument with the person to whom I should pass the requirements. You will never imagine how it went (good thing my mom didn't saw us), battling over the sentence construction about what papers are required. In the end, I just "opened my mind" and let them "win" the idiotic debate. And either way, I have to return to Bicutan to submit other forms.
I arrived at UP at around quarter to 1, so I still had time to review (talk about being optimistic). At the exam, I was so disappointed on how easy the exam was, considering that it should cover 13 chapters from 2 books. Why disappointed? I forgot how to spell the other suffixes since the Korean language had a lot of e's and o's.
Thursday. I was frustrated, big time. By afternoon, my professor in Math 197 gave us this so-called "Pre-Second Exam". It turned out to be just a set of exercises. Two things: (1) I don't know how to answer some of them, and (2) I gave it almost all of my mental energy, considering I had a "real" exam by late afternoon. Yes, dears, I haven't reviewed for the exam, and my head is a total mess, so I used my allowance for tomorrow to eat A LOT.
I won't talk about what happened to the exam. It was fairly easy since our professor said he will give a take-home exam, which containced the harder parts. To our surprise, he forgot to give it to us. I don't even know if he did made it at some time earlier, considering that he wants to check our paper before the deadline of dropping which is fast approaching. After the exam, I breathed heavily and clearly, knowing that the next exam will be next week. But I had to review, still.
So what's the deal with my Korean class? Well, it turned out that we don't have any lessons. From Friday onwards, we will practice conversations. Finally, the thing I've been waiting! But there's still a problem: I forgot my vocabulary! T_T
By Sunday, my heart thumps louder and louder. I will be having my scholarship orientation on Wednesday morning, Korean exam on Wednesday noon, and another Math [150.2] exam on Thursday. Yes, you got me: I had almost no time to review.
So came Wednesday. My mother and I woke up and got off early to go to Bicutan, Taguig (I bet she's excited, also given that a parent or guardian is required to attend the orientation and contract signing). To our relief, we got there earlier than the call time. We asked a speaker/coordinator there at what time will it finish, who promptly told us that it will be done at most 12. Luckily, the program ended up early and we just have to fill up the forms. I had a heated argument with the person to whom I should pass the requirements. You will never imagine how it went (good thing my mom didn't saw us), battling over the sentence construction about what papers are required. In the end, I just "opened my mind" and let them "win" the idiotic debate. And either way, I have to return to Bicutan to submit other forms.
I arrived at UP at around quarter to 1, so I still had time to review (talk about being optimistic). At the exam, I was so disappointed on how easy the exam was, considering that it should cover 13 chapters from 2 books. Why disappointed? I forgot how to spell the other suffixes since the Korean language had a lot of e's and o's.
Thursday. I was frustrated, big time. By afternoon, my professor in Math 197 gave us this so-called "Pre-Second Exam". It turned out to be just a set of exercises. Two things: (1) I don't know how to answer some of them, and (2) I gave it almost all of my mental energy, considering I had a "real" exam by late afternoon. Yes, dears, I haven't reviewed for the exam, and my head is a total mess, so I used my allowance for tomorrow to eat A LOT.
I won't talk about what happened to the exam. It was fairly easy since our professor said he will give a take-home exam, which containced the harder parts. To our surprise, he forgot to give it to us. I don't even know if he did made it at some time earlier, considering that he wants to check our paper before the deadline of dropping which is fast approaching. After the exam, I breathed heavily and clearly, knowing that the next exam will be next week. But I had to review, still.
So what's the deal with my Korean class? Well, it turned out that we don't have any lessons. From Friday onwards, we will practice conversations. Finally, the thing I've been waiting! But there's still a problem: I forgot my vocabulary! T_T
Saturday, February 07, 2009
ColorGenics
Saw this on my Multiply contact's (Andie's) post. Here is the link that features this "thing" called ColorGenics. Feel free to try this as well.
(sidenote: Ang galing. Parang totoo.)
(sidenote: Ang galing. Parang totoo.)
Name: Denji
Date: 2/8/2009
Colorgenics Number: 13724065
You have always been on the move seeking affectionate, satisfying and harmonious relationships. Your ultimate goal has been the realisation of an intimate union in which there could be love, self-sacrifice and mutual trust. It has often been said that 'True love is just around the corner' and - if you haven't found it as yet - you possibly soon will.
You want what you want and you need all that you want and, as they say in the movies, you are the sort of individual that 'By hook or by crook' you will, by fair means or foul, endeavour to get what you are looking for.
You need a friend - a close friend - and you are willing to become emotionally involved with the right person, but you are very demanding and particular in your choice of partners. You are constantly looking for reassurance and it is perhaps because of this that you tend to be somewhat argumentative, but you try to hold back - careful to avoid open conflict - since this might reduce your prospects of realising your hopes of establishing a warm caring relationship.
For whatever the reason, you find it extremely difficult to sustain relationships - that is to sustain them in the manner that you would wish. You are a very gentle sort of person, full of feeling, sensitivity and susceptible to love and affection, looking and longing for a partner with whom you can enjoy 'All things bright and beautiful' - someone with whom you can seek out the more esoteric things of life. But up to now this person has only existed in your imagination. You are very choosy, appreciative, refined and extremely artistic in temperament and it is your hope to seek others who will allow you to form and express your own taste and judgement and who at the same time may assist you in your intellectual or artistic growth.
You are inclined to be too trusting and you feel that you need to be on your guard against the possibility that your endeavours and actions may be misunderstood. Too often you have been taken advantage of and you have been mentally abused. Now you are seeking a relationship which can provide peace of mind, where you can be yourself and not have the need to put on a false front.
Friday, February 06, 2009
5th Week: Descaling Might
6th of February, 3PM, at math Bldg. I am to write that time about my week's frustration when I tamed a cat and, shortly, it frantically followed me everywhere. I had to stray the cat so it won't bother me in writing this. But I had to admit: that cat made me feel better.
A classmate of mine declared last Monday that we don't have any classes on my only subject class for that day. Scenario: NLEX, on a bus. Of course, I'm a bit frustrated. If not for Regina inviting me to review, the fare would have been a waste.
Tuesday. Both Math 162 and Math 150.2 professors announced that our exams will be moved from Feb 10 to some date after Feb 11, which I will be having my examination on Koreyano 11. Sounds like good news.
I didn't bother going to school this Wednesday since (1) I only have a afternoon class, and (2) that day is the day for ACLE. So I spent half my day asking for my father's Tax Exemption Certificate (he's a seaman). I went to the regional (or was it provincial?) BIR office in a nearby town. As I shyly get myself in there, they said to me that I can get what I want on our municipal hall. So I went back to our town and rushed to the said place.
I was annoyed by the people to whom I should ask for the thing that I want. As you see, they have a preformatted certificate which only states the exemption for someone with a low annual salary and that they only give it for "scholarship and summer job purposes". With a 50-peso bill, they gave me one WITHOUT EVEN ASKING FOR A PROOF THAT MY FATHER SHOULD REALLY BE EXEMPTED. Annoying.
Thursday is a normal, unboring day, I just got my letters from DOST (for scholarship) and College of Science (for recognition day).
Friday turned out to be a disaster. I faxed my reply slip to DOST and printed my brother's project at the Shopping Center (at UP) before going to class. I have a problem I wish to talk with my Korean teacher: that the scholarship orientation falls on Feb 11 (see above). So basically, I asked him if I could take a late exam. Annoyingly, theill-conceited guy my professor gave me a big, fat NO. I felt my world crushing prior to the cat incident mentioned at the beginning.
Well, we have an exam this Saturday on Math 123.2. But I'll put it on next week's entry so that it can have a unifying theme. Busy, busy, busy...
A classmate of mine declared last Monday that we don't have any classes on my only subject class for that day. Scenario: NLEX, on a bus. Of course, I'm a bit frustrated. If not for Regina inviting me to review, the fare would have been a waste.
Tuesday. Both Math 162 and Math 150.2 professors announced that our exams will be moved from Feb 10 to some date after Feb 11, which I will be having my examination on Koreyano 11. Sounds like good news.
I didn't bother going to school this Wednesday since (1) I only have a afternoon class, and (2) that day is the day for ACLE. So I spent half my day asking for my father's Tax Exemption Certificate (he's a seaman). I went to the regional (or was it provincial?) BIR office in a nearby town. As I shyly get myself in there, they said to me that I can get what I want on our municipal hall. So I went back to our town and rushed to the said place.
I was annoyed by the people to whom I should ask for the thing that I want. As you see, they have a preformatted certificate which only states the exemption for someone with a low annual salary and that they only give it for "scholarship and summer job purposes". With a 50-peso bill, they gave me one WITHOUT EVEN ASKING FOR A PROOF THAT MY FATHER SHOULD REALLY BE EXEMPTED. Annoying.
Thursday is a normal, unboring day, I just got my letters from DOST (for scholarship) and College of Science (for recognition day).
Friday turned out to be a disaster. I faxed my reply slip to DOST and printed my brother's project at the Shopping Center (at UP) before going to class. I have a problem I wish to talk with my Korean teacher: that the scholarship orientation falls on Feb 11 (see above). So basically, I asked him if I could take a late exam. Annoyingly, the
Well, we have an exam this Saturday on Math 123.2. But I'll put it on next week's entry so that it can have a unifying theme. Busy, busy, busy...
Thursday, January 29, 2009
4th Week: Black Shirt Week
Since I had a lot of black shirts in my closet and since I don't want to wear the shirt I wore for this week in the next week, I decided to wear black this whole week.
As you see, I don't generally feel good on this week. But because I want myself to be dispelled of negative energies, I'll just list some good things that happened this week:
---
1. Joan's birthday treat
Regina and I were reviewing last Wednesday at the Math Bldg so that the things we need to review would not accumulate. That day was Joan's birthday, and Regina asked me to buy ensaymada at Eurobake, to which I complied. So when Joan "arrived" and after giving the ensaymada, I learned that she will treat Regina at Yellow Cab. I dragged myself along (Joan agreed, anyway) un-shamefully. I was really ashamed after but because of that, I learned a lot about her. LOL.
So we went to TechnoHub and we went to National Bookstore first. To my surprise, I saw the book The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time. I skimmed through the pages and saw the tag price at the end (I have no intention of buying that, though). Regina jokingly told me that she will give me the Twilight Series books as a present for me for my birthday, to which I gladly "puked" (LOL!).
So after that, we went to Joan's "feast". Joan and I interchanged the words pizza and pasta. (ROFL) It's my first time to eat there and it was really great. The chili sauce was great, the pizza was great, the pasta was great, and the ice cream was great. That was a very filling night. Thanks, Joan! Belated Happy Birthday!
2. New "org-mate" and friend
I first heard of Sami last semester. He was so great that I was annoyed at that time (maybe I was just insecure/envious/jealous/whatever). But this semester, we are classmates at a subject. But it was just this week that I really interacted with him.
I only know one thing about him that I learned from Aki: He eats, sleeps, and breathes yaoi. Well, true enough.
He really is a fun companion, I tell you. Or maybe just because he understands my green jokes.
But of course, his mouth is not about all yaoi. In fact, his mouth is all about Math. I learned a lot from him, even though I have to get a lot of tissues and wipe my nose smothering with blood.
---
I think that's enough to lift up my week. *sigh*
Yeah, and at some randomness. I can only have black shirt, white shirt, red shirt, and blue shirt weeks. That's because I had a lot of them. LOL. I only wear my yellow shirt at one very special occasion, my pink shirt if I feel really happy, and my green shirt if I think I really have no idea what to wear.
As you see, I don't generally feel good on this week. But because I want myself to be dispelled of negative energies, I'll just list some good things that happened this week:
---
1. Joan's birthday treat
Regina and I were reviewing last Wednesday at the Math Bldg so that the things we need to review would not accumulate. That day was Joan's birthday, and Regina asked me to buy ensaymada at Eurobake, to which I complied. So when Joan "arrived" and after giving the ensaymada, I learned that she will treat Regina at Yellow Cab. I dragged myself along (Joan agreed, anyway) un-shamefully. I was really ashamed after but because of that, I learned a lot about her. LOL.
So we went to TechnoHub and we went to National Bookstore first. To my surprise, I saw the book The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time. I skimmed through the pages and saw the tag price at the end (I have no intention of buying that, though). Regina jokingly told me that she will give me the Twilight Series books as a present for me for my birthday, to which I gladly "puked" (LOL!).
So after that, we went to Joan's "feast". Joan and I interchanged the words pizza and pasta. (ROFL) It's my first time to eat there and it was really great. The chili sauce was great, the pizza was great, the pasta was great, and the ice cream was great. That was a very filling night. Thanks, Joan! Belated Happy Birthday!
2. New "org-mate" and friend
I first heard of Sami last semester. He was so great that I was annoyed at that time (maybe I was just insecure/envious/jealous/whatever). But this semester, we are classmates at a subject. But it was just this week that I really interacted with him.
I only know one thing about him that I learned from Aki: He eats, sleeps, and breathes yaoi. Well, true enough.
He really is a fun companion, I tell you. Or maybe just because he understands my green jokes.
But of course, his mouth is not about all yaoi. In fact, his mouth is all about Math. I learned a lot from him, even though I have to get a lot of tissues and wipe my nose smothering with blood.
---
I think that's enough to lift up my week. *sigh*
Yeah, and at some randomness. I can only have black shirt, white shirt, red shirt, and blue shirt weeks. That's because I had a lot of them. LOL. I only wear my yellow shirt at one very special occasion, my pink shirt if I feel really happy, and my green shirt if I think I really have no idea what to wear.
Friday, January 23, 2009
3rd Week: We Had Such Doubts
[Un]surprisingly, my mother is sharing me what's bothering her regarding my siblings. She told me that my younger brother is one heck of a good liar, way good than my sister and I. She fears that after some years, he may be a bad boy. About my sister, she said to me her prayers about her. She told me that her online relationship with an Ireland-based Filipino may be serious if the guy is, well, serious with her. I can't say my sister's condition but if you do know, then you know what my mother's thinking in relation to my sister.
After that, I realized, I hinted that she also has "problems" with me. I'm strugging with it, you all know that. Of course, I can't blurt out to her that, "Mom, I'm bisexual!" because with her conservative mind, her brain may explode first before understanding me. But I think I'm being unfair since you guys, and a few friends, know about this and, yet, my relatives don't have a single clue (except for my father, but he thinks I just need to have a sex with a girl to dispel my thoughts of me being bi).
Regina and I watched Bride Wars last Wednesday. We were interested with the movie despite it's bad reception with the critics. I do find it interesting (see my "review"). And now, we're having this, I'd like to call it, Last Quotations Syndrome. 8D
Last Friday, I finally met with Marvin. I already had an idea what he will speak about to me but I was amazed that he said things more than that. He gave me a new set of axioms/definitions of love, and with that, I was amazed by a lot of things that I realized regarding that.
Then today, I met with Christian, and we strolled around the malls. Being the unsocial being, I think I almost bore him to death. LOL.
In general, this week is a good week. Take note of the phrase "in general".
After that, I realized, I hinted that she also has "problems" with me. I'm strugging with it, you all know that. Of course, I can't blurt out to her that, "Mom, I'm bisexual!" because with her conservative mind, her brain may explode first before understanding me. But I think I'm being unfair since you guys, and a few friends, know about this and, yet, my relatives don't have a single clue (except for my father, but he thinks I just need to have a sex with a girl to dispel my thoughts of me being bi).
Regina and I watched Bride Wars last Wednesday. We were interested with the movie despite it's bad reception with the critics. I do find it interesting (see my "review"). And now, we're having this, I'd like to call it, Last Quotations Syndrome. 8D
Last Friday, I finally met with Marvin. I already had an idea what he will speak about to me but I was amazed that he said things more than that. He gave me a new set of axioms/definitions of love, and with that, I was amazed by a lot of things that I realized regarding that.
Then today, I met with Christian, and we strolled around the malls. Being the unsocial being, I think I almost bore him to death. LOL.
In general, this week is a good week. Take note of the phrase "in general".
Thursday, January 15, 2009
2nd Week: I Tried My Best, But...
1. I can't hold on to what I feel. It's somehow a good thing that Regina told me about my personality results, that I am "intelligent, but you let your heart rule [over] your head". I've been stinking in that department all this time. I confessed my feelings to someone last weekend and, I tell you, it was the most horrible confession that I had for this last 3 year. But we do talk now as we do before, as if nothing had happened, which is good. Unlike before... :(
2. My exams haven't reached 80%. The good thing is that I passed, but it's still not good enough. Hindi pwede and 'pwede na'. It's my fault that I'm not really that serious in reviewing my notes before.
3. I really can't understand Korean lessons anymore. I said to myself before that I will master Hangugeo (Korean Language) during Christmas break. But I got sick during that long period. And now, I even have shorter time to do so. To add things up: I failed my first oral quiz. Our teacher keeps dictating in Hangugeo and I really can't understand even a little. :'(
2. My exams haven't reached 80%. The good thing is that I passed, but it's still not good enough. Hindi pwede and 'pwede na'. It's my fault that I'm not really that serious in reviewing my notes before.
3. I really can't understand Korean lessons anymore. I said to myself before that I will master Hangugeo (Korean Language) during Christmas break. But I got sick during that long period. And now, I even have shorter time to do so. To add things up: I failed my first oral quiz. Our teacher keeps dictating in Hangugeo and I really can't understand even a little. :'(
Friday, January 09, 2009
1st Week: Dreams About Couples
Fictions-kuno:
===
Daniel went straight to the canteen to have a helping of cup noodles. It's been a long time since he's eaten one. He is about to sit in the quiet corner when he heard buzzes and screams. From the sounds, he can tell that something romantic is going on. He looked outside and he saw a bunch of people gathering together. Then they dispersed. He looked who remained at the site. He saw Rondo and Ursula. He somehow lost his breath and felt his cheek flushing. He also saw Mileena in there. With what he'd seen, he decided to know what's going on. So holding his cup noodles, he walked outside.
As he was walking to curiosity, Barbara suddenly bumped him from his back. She apologized to him while flashing a huge smile and walked away to Rondo. As he goes near, he can hear his own heartbeat. Omega suddenly appeared from his back, telling him that Rondo and Ursula are now a couple.
Silence.
Much to his surprise, Daniel dropped his cup. The contents spilled over his black rubber shoes. He can feel the scorching pain in his left foot, but he ignored it. He flashed a big, fake smile and congratulated the couple. He picked up his cup with angst and went straight to the trash bin.
His tears rolled down his cheeks, murmuring the words, "Rondo, if that what makes you happy, then so be it."
---
After a long time of studying and after days of not going online, Daniel turned on his laptop, Niki, and decided to surf. He went to one of his favorite sites, Plurk, and he saw a lot of unread entries. He decided to read them one by one. When he saw X and Y having a lot of entries, his face was suddenly painted blank. He reads the responses on the comments. From the looks of it, X and Y seemed happy.
"1 new plurk update".
He clicked that link, and he saw X's entry, affirming what his hunch is telling him: X and Y has good love-lives again. What shook him was the fact that X and Y are together again as a couple. Daniel was happy, of course. He shrugged himself that given the fact that he wasn't online for days, many things could have happened.
===
You know that I just got well from my sickness, but I still don't feel that healthy. I've been thinking all of this time, and I'm forgetting to smile again. I'm depressed. This may be the side effects of the drugs I'm taking.
Recently, I feel different about my Math subjects. It's as if I'm having inverse feeling on all Math subjects. I now like Math 171, Math 197, and Math 150.2, unlike before. And it's otherwise for the other subjects. And I still hate the fact that I can't remember my Korean lessons, starting from Lesson 1 of the previous semester.
Now that I'm having weird dreams, is it fate's way of saying that I need a partner now?
===
Daniel went straight to the canteen to have a helping of cup noodles. It's been a long time since he's eaten one. He is about to sit in the quiet corner when he heard buzzes and screams. From the sounds, he can tell that something romantic is going on. He looked outside and he saw a bunch of people gathering together. Then they dispersed. He looked who remained at the site. He saw Rondo and Ursula. He somehow lost his breath and felt his cheek flushing. He also saw Mileena in there. With what he'd seen, he decided to know what's going on. So holding his cup noodles, he walked outside.
As he was walking to curiosity, Barbara suddenly bumped him from his back. She apologized to him while flashing a huge smile and walked away to Rondo. As he goes near, he can hear his own heartbeat. Omega suddenly appeared from his back, telling him that Rondo and Ursula are now a couple.
Silence.
Much to his surprise, Daniel dropped his cup. The contents spilled over his black rubber shoes. He can feel the scorching pain in his left foot, but he ignored it. He flashed a big, fake smile and congratulated the couple. He picked up his cup with angst and went straight to the trash bin.
His tears rolled down his cheeks, murmuring the words, "Rondo, if that what makes you happy, then so be it."
---
After a long time of studying and after days of not going online, Daniel turned on his laptop, Niki, and decided to surf. He went to one of his favorite sites, Plurk, and he saw a lot of unread entries. He decided to read them one by one. When he saw X and Y having a lot of entries, his face was suddenly painted blank. He reads the responses on the comments. From the looks of it, X and Y seemed happy.
"1 new plurk update".
He clicked that link, and he saw X's entry, affirming what his hunch is telling him: X and Y has good love-lives again. What shook him was the fact that X and Y are together again as a couple. Daniel was happy, of course. He shrugged himself that given the fact that he wasn't online for days, many things could have happened.
===
You know that I just got well from my sickness, but I still don't feel that healthy. I've been thinking all of this time, and I'm forgetting to smile again. I'm depressed. This may be the side effects of the drugs I'm taking.
Recently, I feel different about my Math subjects. It's as if I'm having inverse feeling on all Math subjects. I now like Math 171, Math 197, and Math 150.2, unlike before. And it's otherwise for the other subjects. And I still hate the fact that I can't remember my Korean lessons, starting from Lesson 1 of the previous semester.
Now that I'm having weird dreams, is it fate's way of saying that I need a partner now?
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